Enter Johari’s model, a useful tool, created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955 which can improve personal and professional self awareness.
This self awareness model has four areas
- What I know about myself and am willing to share with others
- What others know about me that I don’t recognise or know (my blind spot – I’m not aware of certain behaviour or habits but others are!)
- The unknown area
- The hidden area which includes aspects of myself that I am aware of but might not want others to know
This model can help you to discover aspects of yourself you may not have been aware of or appreciated before.
Some benefits of self awareness
- You discover skills and strengths that could help you feel more confident and achieve goals easier
- You discover natural unknown talents or abilities
- You can challenge your comfort zone, fears and limiting beliefs
- You can work with subconscious memories or feeling that have kept you stuck or unhappy
- You become aware of patterns, behaviours or attitudes that make you repeat unnecessary mistakes or failures
Here’s an exercise I’ve (personally) used and also taught as part of a self awareness course.
What you do is ask your closest family and or friends to tell you 4 or 5 things they like or love about you and one thing they’d like you to do differently or change.
The ‘rules’ are they have to give you short answers without a story or too much information, and you can only say thank you regardless of what they say!
Here’s what my son said when he was 15: “you are kind, caring, show me you love me, what I’d like to see you do differently is give me a bit more freedom, I feel wrapped up in cotton wool sometimes.”
I wanted to say “I don’t wrap you up in cotton wool! Give me an example”, but I remembered the rules and just said “thank you”. I then pondered the answer he had given me and started to pay more attention to my daily behaviour, and what I discovered was that I liked to be in control a lot of the time and this could be seen as ‘wrapping him up in cotton wool’. My self awareness grew and helped me with my goal of being the best parent I could be, and even though I didn’t like the answer, I realised my son was right! The ‘game’ helped me to continue doing what was working well (his positive feedback) while at the same time trusting him more to make choices and decisions for himself.
If you decide to ‘play’ this game, be prepared to consider the feedback, you don’t have to accept anything that’s said, but by listening and thinking about the feedback you could have the potential for new self awareness.
It might take some courage and confidence to try it..
Let me know how you get on.
You can find more information on developing self awareness in Week 2 of my online programme.