Setting goals – friend or foe?
It’s May! Did you set some goals in January? If so, how did you get on with them?
Let me ask you, what do you think when you hear the word goals?
It’s about sport?
And what does the actual word ‘goal’ do for you? Is it a feel good word like it is for me? Is it a positive word? Or does it turn you off, make you think of hard work, seems like more effort than it is worth, or only for high flyers? Stop for a moment and notice how that word makes you feel. You see, no matter what the dictionary says a word means we all have our own personal, unconscious take on how a word makes us feel; good, indifferent or bad. Words carry energy based on our past experiences, unconscious decisions and beliefs. So if you don’t like the word goal, pick a more positive one that motivates you, like intention, purpose, outcome, target, dream, magic or something else. Get the idea? Pick one now. Because if you don’t like the word goal, or if you’re not clear about what you want (most people know what they don’t want but don’t know what they do want!) you might not ever get around to setting a goal, confidence or otherwise, which means you might miss opportunities that could lead to you living a life stuck in your comfort zone, fed up, maybe even miserable, perhaps moaning and blaming others for how awful or unfair life is, lacking confidence, living with regret or wishing your life could be better or different. Phew, that sounds a horrible way to live. You see, setting goals is part of the human condition, we actually need and crave new, different, variety, exciting, but we also need stability, security, normal, comfort. The problem is too many of us (I used to be one of us), forget that setting a goal here or there, that ideally works with our values and beliefs, can give us the excitement we desire whilst still maintaining the comfort we need. In other words a goal doesn’t have to rock our world or frighten us so much that we keep putting it off. It can simply be a small step in the right direction that moves us towards something bigger than who we see ourselves as being right now. And it always starts with a dream! Here are some tips to help you get started with goal setting:
Make a list of everything you want or don’t want
Turn the don’t wants into what you do want
Put your top 10 into order
Pick one to work on
How do you know you want this? Is it a ‘should have it’, or is it a ‘want it’? Always start with want’s, especially if you are working on your own at goal setting, it’s easier.
Score yourself on where you are now in terms of the goal using 1/10 scale.
Let’s say you score yourself a 6/10. Ask yourself what would need to happen to make it a 7? Then whatever the answer is, write that as a specific goal: ie I want to be earning double my income within the next 12 months, that’s specific.
Check again that you really want this
Now check what your belief is that you can achieve this? If it’s not 10/10 maybe pick something more believeable: ie earning 25% more within the next 12 months.
Now, break down the steps you need to take to get from where you are today to where you want to be in 12 months time. These are called journey goals. Then pick the first journey goal and start working on that, just that, when you’ve achieved it move onto the next step. It’s always easier working with a coach, but it can be fun doing it by yourself too. If you’d like to work on your personal development with or without a coach, take a look at my online programme where goal setting is week one and covers how to set goals in more detail using an audio file, workbook and video link and is half price for the month of May. You can take a look here: http://www.pamlidford.co.uk/products/confidence-courses/lost-confidence-want-back/
So, make sure May doesn’t turn into September, then December then January 2017 , with no progress having been made on improving your life.
Pam Lidford is a coach and trainer and is here to help you with any personal or professional development goals you may want to work on.
Pam Lidford / Confidence Coach
email@example.com / 07703 271261